Dating Scene Survivor T-Shirts

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "

"You had me at hell..."

'Would you consider swapping emails?' -'drop.dead@you.loser.com.'

'That's it, no more blind dates for me.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"After such a nice first date you're not going ghost me, are you?"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"She's just being Koi."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Generation Ex.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Alligator Bars

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Huge fan."

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."