Dating Scene Survivor Pillows

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "

"You had me at hell..."

'Would you consider swapping emails?' -'drop.dead@you.loser.com.'

'That's it, no more blind dates for me.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"After such a nice first date you're not going ghost me, are you?"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"She's just being Koi."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Generation Ex.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Alligator Bars

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Huge fan."

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'