Dating Scene Superstar T-Shirts

"A scent to turn men into putty in your hands? Have you tried chloroform?"

"She's just being Koi."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'I'm a star!'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"I just love a nice knight out."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Alligator Bars

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Magician creates magic square

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

Morgan Freeman

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Ventriloquist's dummy reads 'Computers for dummies'.

'You were wrong, Bob, that wasn't her come-hither look!'

"Huge fan."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

He's Tasty!

Ron Perlman

Chick Magnet

Cilla Black

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'