Dating In Later Life Gifts

'Your place or mine?'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Old Love

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"The fact that you rely on a teleprompter is a good indication that you need to work on your communication skills."

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Did someone say something?'

Impulse dating. A really bad idea.

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Internal Clocks.

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

Oldies.

'Don't be too sad. Sure, she was special, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Same Sexless Marriage

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

Why did you pick this restaurant? I like the subliminal message it sends my dates. Yes. Yes.

Elderly Dating

Yield. Stop. We went out a couple of times, but I got tired of the mixed signals.

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"