Dating Escapade Admirer Gifts

Why did you cancel your Uber?

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Alligator Bars

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."