Dating Drifter Pillows

'Are you seeing anybody?'

Tunnel of Lukewarm Feelings...

Sure, this is singles bar. I'm single, Roscoe here is single...

"Do you mind?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"I'd rather be at the office."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"I had half a date last weekend."

Continental Drift.

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'I was a drifter. They got me for defying the law of gravity.'

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'