Dating Drifter Pillows

'Are you seeing anybody?'

Tunnel of Lukewarm Feelings...

Sure, this is singles bar. I'm single, Roscoe here is single...

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

Dating the efficiency expert.

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"I had half a date last weekend."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"I'd rather be at the office."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Continental Drift.

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'I was a drifter. They got me for defying the law of gravity.'

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

'Well? Where is this mystery man we've been hearing so much about?'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'