Dating Dilettantes T-Shirts

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

'Damn, this guy swiped my pick up line.'

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

"Beat it buster! I only fancy bad boys."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'House wine?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

The Salvador Deli

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

The singles bar...

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

Chinese noodles.

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

'If you're ready, who wants to go first?'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

"Alexa, you're not quite what I was expecting!"

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'