Dating Advice Taster T-Shirts

"I can't believe she doesn't want to see me again. I even complimented her on the way she chews food."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

Boyfriend of the Month.

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

The Stages of Wine

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

Warbling on the First Date

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

Tom prepares for his hot date.

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

Hypnotizing Women

"I like long walks on the beach and beautiful sunsets, too...but who are you?"

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"I'm a simple man, really."

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

Babe magnet

'I don't want you to run off, like all my other dates, when I mention the possibility of marriage. Will you please tie your shoe laces together?'

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

"Believe me, boys are like sports. They never live up to the pregame hype."