Date Night Planners T-Shirts

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

You misunderstood me, your honor. When I called for the ultimate punishment, I wasn't referring to the death penalty. I was saying the defendant should be sentenced to a date with me.

scrabble love

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Caution, Falling Bras.

'I hate having to eat and run. Did you bring any money?'

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'

'You said you were taking me out for Italian!'

'Dating Bureau' 'Buttoned up types'

Smorgasborg

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Dating is so expensive...

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

The Reaper's Arms

Funnel of Love

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

"I think we've had too much Wine. The cork-screw is surrendering."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

Tunnel of Like.

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."