First Date Planner T-Shirts

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

"You can come in for coffee Stephen, but there's to be no hanky panky."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Romance

"She's just being Koi."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Dating is so expensive...

Asking out a palm reader.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'