Data Shield Pillows

Information Security

British savings accounts

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Privacy Conference Security

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"That guys is stealing my data!"

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

'Gimme all your cache!'

Facial Recognition

'Look over my shoulder and die!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

'Invasion of privacy.'

"I've invented a software application for protecting our personal data."

"Buy my data $20"

Upload Filter

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."