Data Defense Buff Pillows

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

High security Santa's grotto

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Privacy Conference Security

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Privacy - Surveillance

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

The Best Defense

Aggression/Security

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Milkin' Impossible

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Things that go beep in the night.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.