Data Defenders Pillows

"You don't need to come in for any more check-ups . . . we can get most of your personal information off Facebook."

"Good morning, 555-00-6742, makes 73,000 a year, has 3 credit cards."

'In future in addition to the usual access to customers address books, photographs and friends we'll want information on...'

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Privacy - Surveillance

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'