Data Privacy Day Gifts

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

We Value Your Privacy (Actually, we value it at around $20 a pop for every organization we sell it to).

British savings accounts

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Clickbait

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Data From a Truck

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"That guys is stealing my data!"

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'Look over my shoulder and die!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

'Invasion of privacy.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

Information Security

Upload Filter

"Buy my data $20"

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

A Failiure to Communicate

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'