Data Muncher T-Shirts

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

Why markets crash.

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

Profit slump

Information Tightrope.

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

Exchange Fund

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'Rap sheets! All the latest criminal stats! Get your rap sheets here!'

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

"Sorry darling, you can't go for a kill tonight. It's census night, it would mess up the data!"

'We'll take a short break in case anyone needs to change their underwear.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

"They're sound bites."

"The starred items are hot and spicy."

'Haven't you heard? We're not going to discuss the company picnic - this is the company picnic.'

Bit coin.

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'According to our cost-benefit analysis, if you don't come up with the solution by Thursday at 2:30 P.M., you can forget about the whole thing.'

"Let's not politicize how screwed we are."

"We've seen all the data and crunched all the numbers, now, heads or tails?"

'Oh no. More lab results.'