Data Devourer T-Shirts

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

Why markets crash.

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Big Data Tonight

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

Privacy Conference Security

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

She required plenty of personal space.

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Paper Boy

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Profit slump

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'