Data Dissection Enthusiast Gifts

'87% of the 56% who completed the survey thought that it was a complete waste of time.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Violent Crime Statistics

Aggression/Security

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'