Data Clerk Gifts

'Well, no, I don't see any patterns in this data, but I did see Elvis in my oatmeal this morning!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

Data Entry Marathon

"Why don't you use this content management system?"

Another victory for old school over digital.

John goes through a breakup with his data analyst girlfriend.

'Why don't you quit your job and volunteer to be the keyword guy for my online business?'

'We've got a cloudburst here...it's raining stats and logs!'

Computer screen registers alert for illegal entry as cops drag the computer operator to jail.

"I never dreamed my fun data analysis hobby would one day turn into a career."

"Well, enough of the coy sexual byplay Bobby. I've got to dive back into the data stream."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"Having conducted a comprehensive analysis of dozens of subsets of data from a wide range of sources which confirmed that the likely answer is 36....now we just need to identify the question!"

"Data bases try to avoid me!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Out and In.

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"Useless information"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Fragile stamper.

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."