Data Center Staff Pillows

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

'Botox.'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"I told you when you moved into Dr. Condee's office that his bookshelves were due to collapse any day."

With absolutely no warning, Phil crossed the fine line separating business from pleasure and was never heard from again.

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

'Yeah, we do cloud storage.'

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'Hi, your IT section sent me to test the network sockets.'

"The buck stops next door"

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

Oughta reply

"I'm not sure they fully understand the concept of annual stocktaking."

Boss catches employee sleeping his way to the top.

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

"I must be getting on tech-support's nerves, because they now answer by saying, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

'He hired you! Tough luck.'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

The copier is making a whining noise.

"That's Bill, from tech support."