Darth Vader Fan Gifts

"I can handle the boss's angry looks...it's when he start breathing like Darth Vader."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

The Pink Bantha

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

The Raven in Flight

Dairy Devil

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

Luke Sleepwalker...

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Jar wars

Darth Vader at the hair salon

'Face it, William - you're shit at it!'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Nevermore.'

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

Morbid evidence showing a high dive went terribly wrong!

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

'The Phantom Menace' 'The Extremely Tangible Menace'

"Where's Waldo and his little-know cousin what's Wanda."

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

James Earl Jones

Golfing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the fours be with you! Especially of the par fives.

You played it for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can. Play it! Rick's Cafe Tatooine

Police Box

Dancing with the Star Wars