Darkness Explorer Pillows

'We went to this marvellous place in Scotland, where, at night, there's absolutely no light pollution. Honestly, you've never seen such darkness - we got mugged.'

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

Rural Life - Man who has to walk home through the woods at night after staying late at a neighbour's

Earth Hour is like a short dayight saving only it's in the dark.

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

Most valuable element.

'Look man, no wings!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Going Down?

The Final Selfie

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The Suite Hereafter

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"Your husband says BOO!"

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'