Dancing Delight Gifts

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Gentleman's relish...

"Shake! Good Dog."

Rock Climber

Chocs away.

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'You tell me how he does it.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

Devilled Eggs

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

'Freezer is on the blink.'

children mistake fireplace ornament for someone stuck up the chimney

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

Active Yogurt Culture

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

'Is it organic?'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

Farmer Pickles Present.