Dance Avoider Pillows

'No, I don't like dancing.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"We need to walk."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

Nervous at a party.

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

The Sedentary Dead.