Daiquiri Drinker Pillows

'I can't take your message at the moment as I'm on a beach sipping a daiquri, thank you for holding, your call is important to us.'

Happy Hour

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"They know me here."

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

'The first cocktail.'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Single or double?'

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

"No! I get the zombie. The little guy gets the banana daiquiri. Slim, here, gets the Presbyterian!"

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"India ink, straight."

Trendy new La Croix flavors

"And a bag of peanuts."

Christmas drinker

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

Beefeater cocktail

Corkscrew

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

OUT of ORDER

'I would like one of your driest martinis in one of your finest sippy cups.'