Daily Pun Enthusiast Gifts

Rabbit talking about Stockwell Day

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

A Brain Drain

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'You give me goose bumps!'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Hell's Schlegel

The static electric eel is very rare.

Weather forecast

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

No, he's not metamorphosing. He's in a time-out.

Pavement artist.

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."