Daily Mantra Devotee Pillows

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

The Blob's Blog.

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

Dear Diary

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"Dear Diary: So I texted Julie..."

No news is good news.

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

Anais Nin.

"Is something bothering you?"

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

"She wrote a diary, not a blog."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

Dear Diary, I had a pitch meeting with Hollywood about turning my diaries into a movie, but they seemed to lose interest when I told them the title: "No News is Good News."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Chicken Affirmations

"Okay, I've centred myself. Now what?"

The Diary

"Day 793, this pen is incredible!"