Daily Chore Survivor Pillows

Flying Elephant and Car Washer,

Extreme Sisyphus

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

A usual day.

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Don't get caught."

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

Please continue to hold, but feel free to switch hands.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"If you really want to stay on here, Wiles, you're going to have to give more effort."

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

"I just washed and waxed it. I don't want the birds messing it up!"

Clockwork Revolving Door

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"Edward Shovelhands"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

"You call that a made bed?"

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Lather, rinse, dry, style, get dressed, go to work,come home, eat dinner, go to bed, wake up, repeat.

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

Women uses a Zeppelin to fly help dry her laundry.

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

Sex dreams.

I guess it's gonna be one of those days.