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Dad's home

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Next to Nothing

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm so good at this!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Note Book

Official Team Cap With Beard

"It's a dependent!"

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"I read the audio book."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

A Father Clown marking the growth progress of his son's shoe size.

"I've decided to have a kid."

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

The best time capsules are our children.