Dachshund Owner T-Shirts

'That was fun!'

Dog Walking Services

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Love a Mutt

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

Dogs life

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Epic Battles

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Brrr - It is cold out, isn't it fella!?!'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

Halo Frisbee.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

Santa Dog

"It makes me want to pee."