Cynicism Admirer Pillows

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"I started out looking for an honest man and settled for a guy with creative bookkeeping skills."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

The Forever Stamp

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

Bush vs. America

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Diogenes and tourists

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

*2020

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Sucking Up to Gen X

Born Cynical,,,,

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

Information and Still don't get it.

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

Mail & Political lies.

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."