Cylinder Counter T-Shirts

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

All Natural Nothing

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

An abacus swimming pool

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'