Currency Counter T-Shirts

"Euros? Sorry mate, this is a G7 pub."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

All Natural Nothing

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'Diet considerations.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Dieting Motivation.

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'