Cycling Champion Gifts

'Don't make eye contact Harold, it's another one of those aggressive drivers.'

Bicycle race.

Bradley Wiggins

Cull people who open car doors without checking for traffic.

Knight in shining Lycra!

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Mountain Climbing Yodeler

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Damn speed hump!"

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

Lance Armstrong: the later years.

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

Retirement became the obvious decision.

'Don't be so velodramatic!'

'I knew I shouldn't have had those beans this morning!'

Drug testing for Tour de France.

Ladies in Lycra

Caution.

Eddy Merckx

Horse and Ponies For Sale

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'

Tour de France cyclist Jan Ullrich

King of the Mountain

'Sure, I catch it once in a while, but nothing beats the chase.'

"Alright cowards, now put your peloton on a stairmaster and get into a lap pool!"

"They're padded shorts: yes, your butt looks big."

A runner on an endless loop

"How did you know I was hit by a low-flying drone?"

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

Pedal faster!

'I've given up streetwalking, officer.'

Bike ramp engineered by: Gracie Bermudez

Tour de France