Bike Race Hero Gifts

Knight in shining Lycra!

A smiling cyclist

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

Very drunk professional cyclist

"You can take her ... just pretend she's my mother."

The Ultimate Sleeping Bag.

Bradley Wiggins

"I want to report a race crime.'

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Congratulations for male runner

"Hey. . . in use!"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

At the Old Bikers' Home

"And so another school year is over. Nine months of studying the great minds of history have left us wiser in the ways of the world."

Floyd Landis: I would have preferred a good bottle of whiskey.

Tour de France champ Henri Pélissier

Wheelies Gang.

'O.K., I admit I'm impressed by your handbrake skills but does reverse gear work?'

"No, I can't just fire you up one of those stone oven pizzas."

Drug testing for Tour de France.

Tour de France champ François Faber

“My secret is lots of hills and meeting new people.”

Caution.

"I shaved my entire body and spent $2,600 on lighter bike components. Guess who's riding .04 miles per hour faster now?"

'Don't make eye contact Harold, it's another one of those aggressive drivers.'

'I want something that says I'm a death and sex obsessed psycho... with a heart of gold.'

'Ok, ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes round the tree ..'

"This is not what I thought you meant by 'Come to our ATV program!'"

"Baldo, I hope you're not going to that new drainage ditch to do tricks on your bike."

"If your backpack seems a little heavy, it's because I packed all our electronic devices. I feel more secure with them nearby."