Cyber Sentry Pillows

Internet Security.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"