Cyber Sentinel Pillows

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

Twelve-step verification

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Computer security is slightly over the top.

"Sorry, but until I update the antivirus software, I want to be sure you don't click on any attachments again."

Lynching on social media

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Time Out For Teddy

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

The new global mantra flag for the future

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Homepage, sweet homepage.

Computer Crimes

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."