Cyber Comical Pillows

Robber trying to break into an online account.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

"Lemonade App: $1"

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

"Before we go any further, I must warn you that this is not a secure network."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."