Cv Perfectionist Gifts

"I don't like to make assumptions, but is there something you've failed to mention on your CV?"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Build Your Own Portfolio

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

Do you have any other skills?

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"On the contrary. For this position we're looking for someone who can think 'inside the box'."

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

Writer

Poetry repairman

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Perfection

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"This is quite an impressive resume. Any chance I can work for you?"

The Birth of a Portfolio

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"By the way, there is only one 'L' in 'over-qualified'."