Cv Champion Pillows

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

Bradley Wiggins

A man playing guitar beneath a balcony with his hat ready for cash

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

"Because our constituents keep hurting our feelings!"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

Vote

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

'Wow, Frank - he nailed it!'

Drug testing for Tour de France.

Defense Not losing Goal Offense Winning