Customs Officer T-Shirts

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"You'll never get that past security."

"This doesn't look like you."

!Good news...We found your lost luggage...Well, actually the drug dog found it.'

'Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest.'

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

"What do you mean you've lost my other case?"

Pandora's Luggage

Us - Them.

Santa Security Check

"Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest."

Suddenly it occurred to Christian that trying to mask the smell of the drugs with gravy wasn't such a good idea.

'Sorry for checking but we were tipped off that trucks may be trying to smuggle illegal immigrants across the border.'

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

The Vicar in Customs

Irish Border

HM Customs and Excise - 'One of the few things you can see from space is the great wall of Chinese imports.'

'You're not trying to smuggle wildlife out of our country, are you?'

'Sorry, we can't let you in. You're too ugly.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

'What is the purpose of your visit?'

Good immigration control

'Harbouring new asylum seekers'

Smug Lur Transport. It was just a hunch.

'Oh my gosh, weapons of mass destruction!"

Border Collie

Let me do the crying, okay?

"And keep your eyes peeled for tobacco smugglers."

"Any fruits or vegetables?"

You've only got a three month visa, but I suspect you intend to stay six months!

A traveller presenting suitcase to a stern customs officer

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Arrivals, Departures, You can't go home again.

"Sorry sir, but you are on the No-Fly List."

'Any skills?!! Well I got this far, didn't I?'