Immigration Officer T-Shirts

"Good morning, Nice queue You've all passed"

'Britishness Test.'

"And yet another headache for the Immigration and Naturalization Service!"

'Now, don't make a big fuss -- we're just migrant workers.'

Immigration - 'You haven't got enough points to re-enter the UK.'

'Bad news, Americans are now doing the jobs we used to do.'

Higher walls around the EU.

Europe and immigration.

"Get ready and get those fences up!"

King Canute's immigration policy fails to work

Ode to Joy - The Anthem of Europe

Asylum Seeker Integration Centre - 'My colleague will show you where to get beaten up and abused by members of the British public...'

"As my attorney I was able to get you in on a work visa."

'Mind you, if they're any good at cricket or rugby they'll be more than welcome.'

"Now then, were you driven out of Ireland by religious, political or economic pressures?"

"Bevenion, if it's not too much of a problem, we'd like you to modify your name so that people can get a quicker ethnic fix on it."

'Yes it's a long and illustrious family tree Mr Yousif, but what I really need from you is a passport.'

USA Express Deportation

Immigration: Let them in and Chuck them out.

"And keep your eyes peeled for tobacco smugglers."

'I was all for deporting you but it would have breached your human rights.'

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

A traveller presenting suitcase to a stern customs officer

Relaxation of the visa regime.

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Immigration office with overload on in trays.

Fudge and defer trays in Immigration office.'

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

'What sort of job did you do in Poland?'

'Anything to declare?'

'See if they have their green cards.'

Passport Photo

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

UK border controls relaxed.

Three wise men being stopped by customs.