Border Control Officer T-Shirts

'Bad news, Americans are now doing the jobs we used to do.'

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

Europe and immigration.

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

'Go through laddie. Only a true Scotsman disnae wear anything under his Kilt.'

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Passport Photo

'Well sir, you saw the memo 'Reduce the Backlog' simple!'

Pre-Plastic Surgery Passports

"OK the rest of you, out you come - we know you're up there!"

Europe

NATO sends ships to try and stop the trafficking of migrants.

Why so few people from Latin America try to...get into China.

"The password to my social media account is AuthoritarianCryBabiesNeedAHug123."

"Suspected illegal alien."

"Well Sir, your birth certificate says you were not born here, so you can't spawn here! Move along..."

US Asylum

EU-Paradise

Viva Belarus!

Belarus lets immigrants into Europe

"Apparently they're waiting for Banksy."

"You've been randomly selected for additional screening."

'My occupation? Billionaire party animal.'

'I asked to see your birth certificate. This is your death certificate.'

UK Border Agency and Hidden Illegal Immigrants

'The U.S. has so many problems - there is no respect for the government - everyone is divided over everything!'

Sleeping Sphinx

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

Border Controls and Terrorists

'This photo looks nothing like you. Close your eyes and screw your face up a bit...!'

"What if we promise to spend our money at Trump properties?"

"What if we promise to spend our money at Trump properties."

"Sorry, Celesteville remains banned."

"The good news is that we've clamped down on the number of small boats..."

Last Customs Post Before the Border