Customs T-Shirts

'Are you sure you're not wearing anything you bought overseas?'

"Every year the beings on this planet eat one of these on the day they were calibrated."

"It's customary to at least buy something before you take all the pennies."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

UK border controls relaxed.

Collies Without Borders

Vaccination Passport

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

'Anything to declare?'

"It's marzipan pigs."

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

HM Customs and Excise - 'One of the few things you can see from space is the great wall of Chinese imports.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'Welcome to America'

"Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system?"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

Exportation and importation in Cuba