Customer Service Assistant Gifts

'Excuse me, sir? Would you mind buying three of these for me? I'm over the limit.'

"Heaven help the poor customer today, Finley quit smoking this morning!"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Night-shift entrance

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"More croutons, sir?"

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

Automated customer service.

Our Troubled Chowders

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

Pizza Delivery Delays

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Man dies unnoticed in his office cubicle

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'Hold on, he's back again.'

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

'What, no onion rings?'

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

The early version of accidentally hitting 'reply all.'

"It's a new bank policy, sir - Transactions under $500 just aren't worth our while."