Customer Service Assistant Gifts

'Excuse me, sir? Would you mind buying three of these for me? I'm over the limit.'

"Heaven help the poor customer today, Finley quit smoking this morning!"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

Night-shift entrance

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

"More croutons, sir?"

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Automated customer service.

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Pizza Delivery Delays

Our Troubled Chowders

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"I'm the nice huggy lady from the government."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Man dies unnoticed in his office cubicle

'Hold on, he's back again.'

'What, no onion rings?'

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."