Customer Satisfaction Chasers Pillows

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

Shopping Torture

Final clearance sale.

Hotel teddy for hire

"She clawed her way to the top."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

Mountaineers milk.

'Through dieting I lost some weight ... I also lost my reason for living!'

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'If you want to praise our company, you're talking to Tommy Smith. If you want to complain, you're talking to Krfrzrk Mnkfplmkrz.'

Friendly bank/Formal bank.

"1-800 Herd of Elephants."

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

BadNewsBlues it is

'The customer is King'

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

To get customer service please scream loudly 'Dear God is there no one there, what do I have to do to get serviced...I'm going to take my money somewhere else...'

"The algorithm we're using to identify our 'ideal' customer still needs a bit of work."

"Our goal is your complete satisfaction. But we'll settle for your money."

"The main difference is that if you mail it first class. . . we actually deliver it!"

"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"