Customer Experience Champion Gifts

"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Suggestions Box

Working hard to maintain customer relations

Grocery store has no data team to help with customer's shopping experience.

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"Joey, Joey, Joey! It's like he's taken over this whole store! Well, I'm sick of it! This place is not about being lazy! It's about good products for good prices! It's about customer service! But does anyone car? Does anyone notice? When does hard work pa

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"Mustard? Ketchup? Mayo? Talk to me, old man."

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

"Why don't you try THIS instead?"