Customer Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"People are crazy."

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Kids' energy levels

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

Man is attacked by barcodes.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

Man is target

Sigmund Freud

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

Silent Body Language

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest." "Very good, little buddy." "I see you've read chapter 7 of 'Randy "the Rock" Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect'." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." "I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper." "I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed."