Custom Challenger Pillows

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Lawnmower

"Heel! Pass it on."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

AI

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

Escher flat-pack furniture

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

Spring cleaning.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

10 items or less

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

We don't believe one glove fits all!

Man and dog.

Careers Advice

"I hope this isn't another one of your crazy bounce-me-off-the-wall ideas."

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

"Tom, this is an ideas meeting, not a planning meeting."

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'