Diy Challenger Pillows

Escher flat-pack furniture

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

I did it my way.

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Too much cilantro

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Putting Practice.

Lawnmower

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Spring cleaning.

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

"I hope this isn't another one of your crazy bounce-me-off-the-wall ideas."