Custodian Gifts

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'Cleaning goes against entropy and the natural order.'

"Not guilty?"

Kids can shoot a basket from 50 feet away, but can't hit a trash can two inches from their noses.

'I hate the first day of school.'

'Trust me. He's far more effective than any drain cleaner and he doesn't contain any environmentally dangerous toxins.'

Earl's job is to replace the bulb in the light at the end of the tunnel.

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Whittler's Mother.

'In every office there's always someone who didn't get the message.'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"Today I'm so tired! There was an earthquake during my shift."

'I'd like to see them send out jobs to India.'

"Excuse me, do you really have to do that right now???"

'Yes, boss, that book you gave me was very useful.'

'The custodian is venting again.'

Cornered

Cleaning student lockers.

I think it�s a dummy chart to stop us from asking for a rise.

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"You may have an MBA, but I can change a light bulb."

The only time students were even slightly awake during Professor McDrone's class was when the custodian vacuumed.

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"I convinced the new maintenance guy that 'Cinco de Mayo' was the sink in the president's office."

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

"Probably not the best time for vacuuming."

"Cool. How did you learn to write in a foreign language?"

"It looks like the custodians union is playing hardball."

Will stomp on trash for $1.

Even guest speaker, Conan the Custodian, a legally registered immigrant, couldn't hold the student's attention in the slacker's class.

'Nature's not the only one to abhor a vacuum. I do too.'

Fred never knew what he'd find when cleaning port-a-potties after a rock concert.

"It's all right for you, my job sucks."

'I think I've found a security breach.'

'It's my 'employee of the month' award-a bigger bucket!!'